Sunday, April 22, 2012

"I've got to go, I think that was a mortar"

As you sit there and ponder, evolve, or debate your stand on equal rights, think about this, you’re pondering MY LIFE. Imagine your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend halfway across the world, you haven’t seen them for nearly six months and instead of your normal goodbyes your conversation is interrupted by an explosion your loved one quickly says "I've got to go, I think that was a mortar” and the line disconnects. That’s happened to me today and it’s not the first time.

Now imagine someone tells you that your love is corrupt or disgusting. Imagine thinking if something ever went wrong you could be the last to know, if at all. Imagine knowing that a hospital could deny you access to your loved one by the simple request of a family member. Imagine being left behind to manage life without any support. Imagine being told you’re not good enough to marry someone you would lay your life on the line for.

The next time you’re asked what your stand on equality is, put yourself in my shoes, in the shoes of the LGBT community. The next time you roll your eyes because you see another equality ad or post and think; give it rest, or what do I care, think about what you’re really rolling your eyes at. The next time you see some person cry at the loss of a LGBT suicide, think about how close they may have come to taking their own life. Think about how it would feel to fear and loath your own existence for something you have no control over.

I have a chip on my shoulder, I have avoided even denied it but I can’t anymore. I am married but in the state of Ohio right now that means nothing. If Steve and I didn’t have supportive families, we could lose everything. If one of us fell ill we could be blocked from visitation. If one of us passed we could be denied the ability to say goodbye. If Steve had been killed by that mortar today, I may not have found out for weeks, maybe even months. While I am lucky with a family that would not allow that, I can’t help but realize how so many are not as fortunate. I have been complacent, I will not be anymore. If you are my friend support equality and if you don’t, my suggestion to you is keep it to yourself and stay out of my way.

This past year has opened my eyes, this past hour has filled me with passion. I will not accept being content, I will not accept separate but equal. Character is not shown in a time of comfort; character is shown in a time of challenge, and consequence. I’m going to build character, REAL CHARACTER, are you?

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