As I prepared to "register" Steve and my
relationship with the city of columbus I realized something. We put more work into this damn thing than
straight people do, a lot more!
At a time when flying to Vegas can land you some cash, in the broke house, or you end up leaving with a new spouse, heterosexuals have started to under appreciate what they have. When Steve and I decided our lives were complete with each other, it took a six hour drive, a judges "ok" and we still got zero benefits that came with the paper. We drove across three state lines even though all the work, travel and money meant absolutely nothing back home.
So why go through all that trouble? It's what we are all taught, go to school,
college, get a great job, get married, have kids and die happy. Marriage is a phase of life to be excited
about. Much like driving a car, voting,
and for some their first alcoholic beverage, marriage is an exciting bench mark
in life. So why should Steve and I
except nothing less than the real thing?
Our love is real, our commitment is real, then our marriage for damn
sure is going to be real.
So what does this all mean you ask? I think it boils down to this, the LGBT
community appreciates marriage more than our straight counter parts, or at
least more than they will give us credit for.
Gays and lesbians from 44 states cross this country, pay hundreds and
sometimes thousands for a piece of paper that holds nothing but a peace of
mind. As for having kids the minimum for
preparation far exceeds the norm in cost, paperwork and prep compared to our
straight counter parts.
So the next time you think or hear that gays and lesbians don't understand what commitment, or marriage is think of this. Think of Steve and I making a track to Washington DC when he only has 14 days with me before he goes back to Iraq for six more months, 14 days of recreation after having been there for six months already. What did we do during that time? We drove to DC to get a fancy certificate with an embossed foil stamp that does absolutely nothing in the way of protecting Steve and I, but says everything it needs to in our eyes.
Normally I try and feed people to my resolution hoping
they will see what I do, but today, not so much. I truly think by and large the LGBT community
works harder for marriage and children than our counter parts. No worries, I'll try to prove my crazy point
and leave plenty of room for you to yell in the comments below.
At a time when flying to Vegas can land you some cash, in the broke house, or you end up leaving with a new spouse, heterosexuals have started to under appreciate what they have. When Steve and I decided our lives were complete with each other, it took a six hour drive, a judges "ok" and we still got zero benefits that came with the paper. We drove across three state lines even though all the work, travel and money meant absolutely nothing back home.
So why go through all that trouble? It's what we are all taught, go to school,
college, get a great job, get married, have kids and die happy. Marriage is a phase of life to be excited
about. Much like driving a car, voting,
and for some their first alcoholic beverage, marriage is an exciting bench mark
in life. So why should Steve and I
except nothing less than the real thing?
Our love is real, our commitment is real, then our marriage for damn
sure is going to be real.
LGBT community members criss cross this country flying to
states that will accept their love for no other reason than to show each other
their love and reach that bench mark in life.
Shortly after many of them fly back to their states that don't recognize
their marriage and feel closer and further in their lives because of it.
The most amazing thing, the most telling I think is that
in all but six states the LGBT can not legally wed. Yet hundreds of thousands of them jump in
cars or planes fly across state lines and get a piece of paper that makes none
of the financial pieces easier. A
marriage certificate here in Ohio won't allow Steve and I to change our name,
add beneficiaries, insurance, adopt, nothing and in44 other states its the same
exact story. That little piece of paper
just looks and feels really damn good to Steve and I on our wall.
This doesn't even take into account adoption. We don't have accidental pregnancies. The cost of having a child isn't the money
you saved on not buying condoms one night.
It takes planning; whether adoption, a surrogate , foster care or some
other method having kids takes time, prep and a hell of a lot of money and
paperwork and that's all before you actually even have the kid. Add on top of all that there are only a hand
full of states that will allow same sex adoption and you can't help but admit
that anyone willing to try and adopt must truly want it.
So what does this all mean you ask? I think it boils down to this, the LGBT
community appreciates marriage more than our straight counter parts, or at
least more than they will give us credit for.
Gays and lesbians from 44 states cross this country, pay hundreds and
sometimes thousands for a piece of paper that holds nothing but a peace of
mind. As for having kids the minimum for
preparation far exceeds the norm in cost, paperwork and prep compared to our
straight counter parts.So the next time you think or hear that gays and lesbians don't understand what commitment, or marriage is think of this. Think of Steve and I making a track to Washington DC when he only has 14 days with me before he goes back to Iraq for six more months, 14 days of recreation after having been there for six months already. What did we do during that time? We drove to DC to get a fancy certificate with an embossed foil stamp that does absolutely nothing in the way of protecting Steve and I, but says everything it needs to in our eyes.
We were all taught as children that marriage was the
union to the one you love. Maybe our
parents said the opposite sex, maybe they didn't. The important part is that we all heard the
message loud and clear. We approach
marriage with rock solid resolution, that this is it, that this is our soul
mate for life and that we couldn't be happier.
To question that is questioning what you teach your own children, it's
questioning someone else's marriage and the integrity of marriage itself. It's no light decision, so if someone is
willing to work so hard to get it, who are you to deny them that.
